Staying Drunk

Belle has been away for a while - i'll catch you up on the latter's activities shortly.

Tonight, whilst frequenting the local Sainsburys, Belle had a revelation: she is, in fact, a cat lady.

Before entering said Sainsburys, Belle had visited the 'Pets at Home' (completely non chavvy store...) round the corner from Sainsburys (Superstore i'll add- by the by, there are 3 Sainsburys in about a 5 mile radius, is this actually legal?!) to purchase litter for cat, we'll call her Dol. Dol has been using a brand labelled 'World's Best Cat Litter' - to which I muse, by taking that name as an actual brand name, there need be no actual proof of the fact; impressive marketing from the boys at 'World's Best', I must say.

The world's best marketing ploy for cat lovers with no sense, 'World's best Cat Litter' retails at around £11, so Belle said: "fuck it" and bought the cheapo stuff that is actually - and I kid you not - called Cat's Best Cat Litter - RRP of £8. My £3 saving apparently goes into the handle at the top so Belles can carry the bag to her car and then out again on the other side...

After a short trip to Sainsburys, pizza in hand, Belle heads home when the young Mafia esque boy pulls into the drive after her in his shiny Lexus. Beat up Peugeot aside, Belle struggles will all her bags, ambling to the door, where nice, friendly 'son of Mafia boss' is holding the door open for Belle, whilst his girlfriend struggles to gain entry to the other door.

This was the exact moment in which Belle realised she was a cat lady. A cat lady living alone with her cat, eating pizza by herself relishing in the silence that ensues whilst she partakes in a cheeky marathon of The Only Way is Essex and Made in Chelsea.

Belle is a cat lady, in order to recitfy this situation, Belle has tried to ease the pain of this revelation by drowing her sorrows.

Not only is Belle a cat lady but she is a sloshed cat lady.